PrintApril 15, 2007
When Women Cry Wolf About Rape
Now that the Duke "rape" case has been brought to its conclusion and the falsely-accused young men have been thoroughly exonerated, it is time for us - especially us women -- to come down hard on the woman who cried "Wolf" and those who enabled her. They caused a whole lot more damage than the little boy in the fairytale.
Certainly these young men and their families deserve all of the solace and restitution that we can offer them. Their suffering has been genuine and substantial. And the female accuser is not the only one bearing blame for that. Mr. Nifong has disgraced his profession and the good people of his jurisdiction. His political career would now seem to be at an abrupt end, and rightly so. Duke University will most likely suffer diminished enrollments and contributions for a number of years to come as a reflection of the public disgust at its cowardly rush to invoke vigilante justice. In one fell swoop, those 88 faculty members and their President made Duke's high tuition look more like the inflated price sticker on a used car than any sort of a good deal.
Every bit of this colossal damage was caused by one woman's lie. She is said to have a "troubled" history. But if she is regarded as incapacitated enough to escape punishment for a vicious and harmful lie, then the behavior of Nifong in going forward on her slim testimony is all the worse.
But as sad as this is, it is only the beginning of the toll - especially for women.
But as sad as this is, it is only the beginning of the toll - especially for women.
Because this woman's lie received such broad, gushing media attention, there is scant reason to believe that there is a person in America over the age of 10 who does not know the lurid details. And barroom back-slapping by men of questionable character aside, let's get real. This woman with her prosecutorial megaphone has done grievous damage that will continue to haunt every female in true sexual peril for a long, long time.
The would-be date rapist knows he has an edge now. As he stops himself in the precipice of temptation, calculating and deciding whether or not to take the plunge into sexual plunder, will this notorious false-rape incident be all the encouragement he needs? The number of our sisters and daughters who are now placed in greater danger because of this woman and her cry of "Wolf" is truly incalculable.
As sad as this may seem, most women who are indeed victims of sexual crime - whether at knifepoint or after too much wine - do not want to report it. Every woman already knows, and far worse, feels, the degrading shame of the crime itself. And she asks herself a thousand times whether she did something herself to cause it. Also, she knows that if and when she does go to the authorities for vindication, her further personal humiliation is a necessary component of any justice that does result. The number of real rapes that will now go unreported is just another tragic result of this one woman's hideous lie.
The lingering devastation caused by real sexual crime defies logic. I know because it happened to me in childhood. The inflicted harm goes so deep into the psyche that many psychiatrists have labeled it "soul murder." And for good reason. Its deadly evil seeps through the skin into the caverns of the victim's thoughts, and whether in waking or in sleeping, causes a veritable earthquake in how she views herself, men, God, and the world she inhabits. A true victim of sexual crime marks all of life in terms of before and after. She must constantly and forever guard against the fear and shame that now skew her view of reality. When any woman lies about this for any reason whatsoever, it belittles and mocks the suffering of every true victim.
All of this rightfully needs to be said on behalf of truly innocent women whose lives have been wrecked by rape. But I would be remiss if I did not also offer words of stringent caution now to every woman who wants to avoid this crime. Society can ruminate over all the if's, and's and but's when it comes to generalizing about rape. But if you are ever raped, it will not be society that suffers; it will be you. So, avoid at all costs the situations where the waters between real rape and consensual sex can be even the least bit muddy. And keep up the barrier to a man's temptation in the way that you speak and dress. Erring on the side of caution - especially when it comes to rape - never did any woman any harm. But it can save you one heck-of-a-heap of suffering in the end. Feminists can go on and on all day long about how you ought to be able to walk down the street stark naked and remain safe from sexual crime, but none of their rants will ever make that true.
And a note to all men everywhere. If you don't want to ever be accused of a rape you did not commit, it is probably best if you don't participate in parties that mix your already barely-in-control hormones with alcohol and scantily-clad women of questionable virtue. It's probably best also to ask the woman you're with, just to make sure you are not taking something which has not indeed been offered. Because, in the end, going to prison for a rape of which you truly are innocent is too high a price for any sort of cheap thrill.
The "Duke Rape Case" story will fade now pretty quickly, but the effects of it will be felt by many for quite some time. Hopefully some good will come of it, though, as individual men and women make changes in the way they behave when together. That could indeed prove to be a silver lining for us all.
