PrintAugust 7, 2009
Silver 4 Seniors
Cash for Clunkers is an innovative plan displaying a government bereft of largesse, ingenuity, organization and creative marketing. The original intent of C4C, as lingo insiders call it, was to bolster GM by enticing consumers to trade-in old cars and purchase new government-approved vehicles with cash reimbursements. In spite of C4C's troubles, the public has overwhelmingly responded to swapping old stuff for money. If Cash for Clunkers is indicative of American willingness to accept capital in return for that which is older, the government may have stumbled upon a workable prototype extending possibilities well beyond the car lot.
Citizens wrongly view Cash for Clunkers as a gratis new car program the same way they perceive Washington promised health care a panacea. While Washington offers utopia, expectant American taxpayers usually end up with second-rate outcomes at a huge loss. As Americans enthusiastically cash in at Washington's whim, Cash for Clunkers is no exception to that rule.
Perhaps Americans remain unaware that in Washington DC there is a catch to everything. Cash for Clunkers is another Houdini-style slight of hand where politicians filch money out of American pockets with one hand and send it back in check form with the other convincing taxpayers they are getting something for nothing.
What started out as a free-for-all innovative car bonanza, the C4C program has morphed into a complex problem for both consumers and dealers. Americans now find themselves unable to drive off the lot in a new vehicle and are enmeshed instead in a maze of unending bureaucracy. Labyrinth aside, this is a point that should be heeded in light of who is scheduled to administer sigmoidoscopies in the future.
In Washington dead anything means positive results because slaughter is a justifiable means to an end. Death is woven into liberal policy as a prerogative for fetuses to Fiats making it a big part of Cash for Clunkers. Engine executions are requisite to the C4C plan. In order to receive rebates dealers are responsible for permanently putting engines out of commission because free money and cheap cars come at a price.
Engines of traded in motor vehicles are drained of oil, and then an executioner, "donned in a silky blue protective suit, goggles and gloves" disables the car by pouring sodium silicate into unsuspecting engines. The car is then revved and within minutes, the solution hardens choking the engine, which is followed by the emergence of a daisy signaling its demise. Immediately following, the deceased car is shuttled to the car crematorium and rendered trash. Only then will the government disperse funds. Deliver the car, make sure it's dead and then you get the check.
After voluntarily retiring beloved vehicles, Cash for Clunkers program participants appear to be experiencing typical governmental logjams when it comes to obtaining promised $3,500 - $4,500 reimbursements. So as car graveyards fill with coupé corpses customers and dealers hope the cost isn't more than originally thought. Americans are finding themselves without cars, without rebates and having to absorb the expense of a new vehicle after killing one that was perfectly living and breathing.
Cash for Clunkers has provided Washington an opportunity to measure public response to government cash incentive programs. Pelosi, Reid and Obama are heartened by the overwhelming response to CAR or Car Allowance Rebate. The trio hopes infusion of an additional two billion dollars will be the carrot on the stick that inspires Americans to continue to push emotional attachments aside by dumping Classic 1956 Desotos.
With health care on the horizon trading in and sentencing gas guzzling cars to death might be dress rehearsal for forthcoming swap-for-cash government programs. In the mind of Washington bureaucrats, Cash for Clunkers could be a pilot whose boundaries can be expanded to persuade Americans to turn in things for all sorts' of monetary incentives. If presented properly, willingness to clamor for cash could work to the fiscal benefit of future policy initiatives.
The possibilities are endless. For instance, if at some point impending universal health care gets too expensive to include the elderly. Or, if rationing becomes too bothersome, the pledge of receiving Pesos for Poppy could motivate an eager public to drive Grandma or Grandpa to a government-designated destination, in lieu of a hospital or nursing home.
Keeping with liberal death for profit tradition, as more fiscally responsible decisions become necessary, viable considerations such as "seizing the engine" of those who drain the government dole could be applied. Cash could be offered to families for delivering oblivious senior citizens to government type centers for a meeting with the guy who mercifully puts down 1999 Buick LaSabres dressed in that silky blue protective suit, goggles and gloves.
From the looks of things anything is possible if convincingly proposed to Americans with the assurance of putting a few bucks back into fleeced pockets. Government is in the process of ironing the kinks out of a bankrupt Cash for Clunkers program. After they do, Americans have government approved, fuel-efficient cars in the future -- as well as prospective proposals such as elder elimination tax rebates alliteratively referred to as Silver 4 Seniors.
Those who enthusiastically put faith in Cash for Clunkers, now stand in a car lot with neither car nor rebate. Americans would be wise to recognize that accepting Washington munificence lays the groundwork for a future where cashing in Granny, on the promise of government guilder, could be as common as turning in clunkers for cash.
Jeannie DeAngeis blogs at jeannie-ology.com.
