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Nick Lopez
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February 26, 2025
It’s time to investigate MSNBC for possible racismAlthough it is a subsidiary of a subsidiary, MSNBC is ultimately a publicly traded company. And publicly traded or not, racism is a very serious charge… and Rachel Maddow made just that charge regarding the firing of Joy Reid. If I were in ...
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November 13, 2024
Finding something nice to sayI recently watched a podcast where Ben Shapiro was asked to say two things he liked about Kamala Harris. He said that he liked that she ran a campaign that wasn’t fully centered on race… then he struggled, and ultimately failed to com...
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November 10, 2024
Ask not how Trump will drain the swamp, ask how you can help!Now that President Trump will be our next president, now is not the time to be an armchair quarterback, now is the time to jump into the game! How? Easy, go take a class at the local state-funded college or university. Make it a gender...
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October 4, 2024
Tim Walz is as useless as a tampon in the men’s roomTim Walz might as well have shown up to the debate wearing a stolen dress with lipstick smeared all over his teeth. It was embarrassing to watch. The man looked like Don Rickles’s unfortunate little brother (”Mommy, Don is b...
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August 10, 2024
Making sense out of nonsenseAs the MSM try to memory-hole Tim Walz’s personal story of stolen valor and communist policies, there are many opinion pieces saying they won’t get away with it. I’m sorry to break it to the authors of these articles,...
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July 7, 2024
The government’s Epstein problemI’m not going to rehash the details surrounding the Epstein … thing, because I don’t have any. Nobody seems to. And what details we do know make absolutely no sense whatsoever. The official story sounds like...
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July 4, 2024
Wokeness is weaknessBusiness is war. Don’t believe me? Then ask Ray Kroc. Ray was the kind of businessman that if he saw his competitors drowning, he would grab a hose and finish the job. Ray Kroc used the weakness of the McDonald brothers to ...
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June 2, 2024
Time to stop using the 'T' word, because they aren’t women.The media, including even the right wing media, uses the “t” word. You know which word. The one Pontiac used in their car names. It's time to stop. There are “men,” and there are “women,” that’s it. Any medical procedure or style of clothing...
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June 1, 2024
The new Mandela effect… or maybe the Martha Stewart effect?A Manhattan jury handed President Trump the black vote on Thursday. All he has to do to keep it is not become a jailhouse snitch. Orange really is the new black, just ask Martha Stewart. Her street cred shot through the roof after she ...
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May 24, 2024
Illinois charts bold new paths in NewspeakThe Great State of Illinois has just done conservatives the biggest favor since they put Jimmy Carter in the White House! It’s brilliant! What are Illinois Democrats doing that is so awesome? They just replaced the word...
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May 23, 2024
Why are conservatives so committed to a dead system?America, I’ve got some bad news for you. You might want to sit down. Your public education system is dead. It’s not dying; it kicked the bucket...some time ago (judging by the stench). You are sending your children int...
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March 20, 2024
How to reach the youth market, and it really is so much simpler (and cheaper) than going wokeOne of the reasons corporate America is going woke, is that they are desperately struggling to reach the next generation of consumers. The companies are trying to tell the kids that they get them. They see that LGBTQ is trendy… so the...
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March 10, 2024
Piffle light … keepin' the logic fluffy and the spin immoral at CNNWatching CNN is a bit like watching someone who locked their keys in a convertible … with the top down … except that it’s less watchable and not nearly as fun or funny outside of the irony of the “most trusted name in news...
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March 3, 2024
Here’s what ‘white rage’ in the heartland really looks likeI’ve got news for Rachel Maddow, Joe and Mika, and Joyless Reid: local Republican committees in flyover America are the most boring places on Earth. There’s no rage, no plotting, no racism, homophobia, anything. You ...
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February 11, 2024
Too frail to fail, too old to hold? Don’t believe it.Do you remember the episodes of the Sopranos where Uncle Junior faked dementia to avoid prosecution? I do. As someone who had two parents with senile dementia listed as cause of death, I’ll say that Joe’s dementia is remarkably cons...
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February 9, 2024
A guide to conservative passive-aggressive resistanceLast year, I had to go to an IRS office. I was subjected to a humiliating pat down for weapons. It was uncomfortable, invasive, and intimidating. The guard wouldn’t just pat me down, either. He had to announc...
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February 5, 2024
Just a trillion here, and a trillion thereA million, a billion, a trillion… no big deal. One can picture Dr. Evil from Austin Powers swapping out letters as Number 2 lets him know that he’s not demanding enough money. It’s only an “m”, a “b...
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December 15, 2023
Last Vegas? The Fontainebleau Casino Opens its DoorsFor 18 years now the Fontainebleau Casino has loomed over the North end of the Las Vegas Strip. The tallest building in the state seemed to be almost invisible, an utterly lifeless structure cut off from everything around it by a simple chain-l...
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November 20, 2023
$185k?! For drinking a beer in a bathtub?! Day one of being a “girl” here I comeBoy, (oops, I apologize for using gendered language, this is all new for me) did I choose the wrong career path, here I’ve been working all these years. What a sucker I am! I could have slapped on some makeup, jumped in a bathtub, and drank ...
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November 16, 2023
LGBTQ and the Palestinians… spread the woke!It’s very exciting to see that the alphabet narcissist brigade has decided to “stand with” Hamas. The reason it’s so exciting? Hamas will finally be educated about microaggressions, pronouns, gendered language,...
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November 7, 2023
A horror story for climate zealotsJohn Carpenter was a pretty amazing filmmaker in his early years. He took three pumpkins, a bag of leaves, a poorly tuned piano, a half-in-the-bag lead actor, bad lighting, and an awful script and turned all that into a cinematic masterpie...
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October 18, 2023
The human traffic jamHumans are amazingly unaware of themselves these days, and it takes some real stepping out of yourself to become self-aware. How many times have we all said we were “stuck in traffic”? How many times have we sat in a traffic jam ...
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October 5, 2023
What 'transwomen' and car accidents have in commonWhat do “transwomen” and car accidents have in common? (No, this question isn’t the setup for the obvious joke punch line being, “everything.”) Where on earth could people have gotten the idea to call a man in a...
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October 1, 2023
What if they complete California High Speed Rail?My last submission to AT was about what happens if California High Speed Rail isn’t completed. Today I’m asking, what if it is? “Build it, and they will come” has pretty much been the American way from the get go. ...
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September 21, 2023
California's HSR scarAlthough the California High Speed Rail "project" hasn't been officially declared dead, it's pretty obvious that it will only be a matter of time before this happens. Officially, the project has been "scaled back" ...
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July 31, 2023
Shoplifting is tax evasionPop quiz: A progressive city institutes a 9.7% sales tax. How much tax revenue does it lose on shoplifted goods? It's a good question, one that needs to be properly researched, answered, and thrown in the face of the tax-and-sp...
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July 18, 2023
If drugs were found in your house...If a baggie of coke were found in your house by federal agents, the assumption would be that it belonged to the primary resident (owner or renter). The next assumption would be that (no matter the amount found), that person is a "kingpin...
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July 12, 2023
Nuances ignored is reality ignoredWatching liberals shrieking about their injustice du jour is especially frustrating, because they never think things all the way through before embarking on a fool's errand. Take electric cars. Something all cars need to o...
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June 30, 2023
Democracy left already. Republic is getting her coat.Democracy is the most fickle of guests. When you invite her to your party, you do so knowing that she will show up only if conditions are perfectly civilized. She doesn't dine on despair, she won't drink a drop of deceit, and sh...
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June 17, 2023
California high-speed rail is a slow-motion failFull Disclosure: I am an absolute railroad nut. I love all kinds of trains and would ride high-speed trains every day just for fun if we had them. So it kills me to write this — it really does. Also, I am buildi...
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June 9, 2023
Sales tax tourismWhen I lived in Nevada, paying taxes was not only easy...it was fun! Whenever I got the urge to pay state income tax, I drove to any one of hundreds of Nevada's tax collection centers (AKA casinos). While I paid my taxes I enjoyed f...
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June 6, 2023
So much, no one could count itOur national debt: thirty-one trillion(ish) dollars. It doesn't look like that much when you read it like that. It really looks just like thirty-one million, only with a letter or two swapped out. Do you know ho...
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May 30, 2023
June: Pride Month becoming Shame Month?Being a gay Republican has been a traditionally friendless condition, as it seems that everyone thinks I'm a hypocrite. But lately I've had a lot more company as gay men and women realize that the alphabet mafia are targeting child...
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May 26, 2023
What do search engines want to show you?Pictures are worth a thousand words. If you want a visual of what Big Tech thinks of white people, black people, or any people, do an image search on your preferred engine of the following terms. You will be unsurprised at the r...
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May 20, 2023
They still love AmericaToday is day 871 of captivity for the January 6 hostages whom the Democrat party is holding in a Washington D.C. gulag. Eight hundred seventy-one days of operations in America's first political concentration camp for dissidents, opened a...
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May 13, 2023
Bud Light is the laser dot, and we're the catA few years back, I had a cat that figured out that the laser pointer wasn't real. It didn't take him long. I made the light cross in front of him, he sniffed the place I had just shot the light, didn't smell anythin...
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April 18, 2023
Red road tripsSummer is upon us, and America beckons, but not all of it! Let's face it: if the Rose City was on your bucket list, you outlived it. Perhaps you should have been on Portland's bucket list instead. Forget about Orlando...
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April 3, 2023
Victim card declinedI'm not accepting the victim card anymore, from anyone, ever again. Whatever pain you are dragging around from your "lived experience" doesn't interest me, just as mine shouldn't interest you. Whoever bullied y...
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March 19, 2023
Don't fall for another Jan. 6–style trap!President Trump has stated that he will be arrested on Tuesday and we should all take to the streets. Don't do it! Stay home, and let the lawyers handle it. This is a set-up, just like January 6. Don't fall for it. Don...
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February 28, 2023
Sunset RepublicEverything ends. A hard truth, because we are a sentimental species. We have pleasant memories of more hopeful times, and we yearn for a return of days that will never repeat. The future that the past promised us was never to be. A rocket powered ...
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February 22, 2023
Do the global elites know what they are talking about?If the architects of the New World Order have proven anything over the years, it is that they are not competent enough to run such a thing. George Soros can't even cheat competent people into local office, so what exactly makes the ...
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January 31, 2023
Ashbury Haight SpeechWoke speech is the language of hate, because woke is a hate movement. Everything about woke comes from a place of hate. You needn't dig down to the deep core of woke to find hate, because the hate is up front and center in woke. ...
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January 6, 2023
Kinzinger cries his way into a CNN gigSo C"N"N (the Cable "News" Network) and the "January 6th Committee" didn't pass bags of cash to each other in front of the cameras on live television...and somehow that makes Americans incapable of seeing the blatant...
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December 3, 2022
I Have Some Questions about Gender AssignmentThe Fairfax County, Virginia School Board has "educated me" that babies are "assigned gender" at birth, and I have some questions. My first question is, what is the department in the hospital that assigns genders to newbo...