When I checked out El Rushbo's Web site today, I thought he was spoofing about GM's joint venture with Segway to build the "Personal Urban Mobility Accessibility" vehicle, dubbed the P.U.M.A. Oh, no.

"The 300-pound prototype runs on a lithium-ion battery and uses Segway's characteristic two-wheel balancing technology, along with dual electric motors. It's designed to reach speeds of up to 35 miles-per-hour and can run 35 miles on a single charge."

• Dick Durbin rack and pinion steering means there's no way in hell you're making a right turn
• The Nancy Pelosi Perrier water pump with the optional lime squeeze valve
• The Chuck Schumer horn won't stop even after you're flattened by an 18-wheeler
• Harry Reid Offstar GPS can't find the way out of your garage
• The Al Gore heater is a nasty lecture debunking the myth of cold air
• Barbara Boxer distributor caps look just like government-subsidized Planned Parenthood condoms
• The Robert Gibbs exhaust manifold sucks the carbon dioxide out of your lungs before you're ready to exhale
• The Eric Holder universal joint eases your pain while the battery recharges
• The Barney Frank tailgate handle makes cruising so much easier
• The George Soros drive train takes you anywhere he wants you to go
• The Dennis Kucinich alternator is a pack of teensy-weensy solar lights
• A 2000 page repair manual keeps you company in the second seat
• You can get any color you want as long as it's green
• The government warranty has a disclaimer advising that you can't sue the sovereign without permission, and you ain't gonna get it