It's an easy choice--let yourself be repeatedly sexually groped by a pervert, or accept the consequences  of global warming. Which would you choose?

Riders of the LA transit system make this choice every day, and I'm proud to say that they put the needs of the globe above their own petty discomfort.

More than one in five Metro passengers were subjected to unwanted sexual advances or behavior while riding Metro trains and buses in Los Angeles County during the first half of 2014, according to a new survey.  As part of a semi-annual customer review, the Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority asked more than 22,000 bus and rail passengers if they had experienced "unwanted sexual behavior including, but not limited to, touching, exposure, or inappropriate comments" over a six-month period. 

About 22% of passengers, or 4,850 people, said yes.

Now, we know how important mass transit is in the fight against global warming. If people used their own cars, they would vastly increase the global greenhouse gas emissions which would increase global warming.  Global warming drowns liberals in lower Manhattan and Santa Monica, gives polar bears sunburn, makes the temperature hotter, and colder, and makes it rain more, or less, and snow more, or less, and causes hurricanes during hurricane season.

So what's a little groping compared to all that? There's no comparison. I so admire the liberals who do their duty every day, squeezing into those tightly filled buses like sardines in a can, letting themselves be leered at and squeezed and touched, all so the rest of us can live in a better environment.

Of course, in a civil society people, even on mass transit, wouldn't have to tolerate any of this, and if I were a woman (which I might yet become, now that the option is open to all of us), anyone who tried to touch me would find himself feeling very regretful very quickly. The problem is that we no longer have a civil society because we no longer have borders. Many of the people on LA transit aren't even citizens, we don't know who they are or what their background is. LA has also been releasing "low level" offenders from jail for years, and some of them probably like to touch girls on a "low level" too. The homeless have been allowed free reign, and the mental hospitals have been emptied. In light of that, it's no wonder a ride on mass transit is like going on a safari with the animals inside the jeep.

And then, of course, there is not just the matter of groping, but disease, such as measles, which can be spread by mass transit. But still, what are a few cases of the measles compared to saving the planet?

Now, for those few of you who haven't been brainwashed into believing in global warming (1) which doesn't exist, for it is not getting warmer (2) if it were getting warmer, our CO2 emissions are inconsequential, (3) if our CO2 emissions were consequential, they are still an inconsequential percentage of the gases in the upper atmosphere, and so on, (4) let me offer my own solution to the LA traffic problems. If you're like me and don't like getting groped, or sharing close quarters with the insane, the malodorous, the undocumented, or the moderately criminalized, there is a solution to the traffic problem.

Listen closely: if you have too many cars, and too few highways... create more highways! Check out the map below. The city should use eminent domain to take the land, and turn it over to private developers who will pay to build it in return for charging tolls on the new roads.

Now if you're a liberal, you'll whine "If you build more highways, there will be more cars," and that is true to a certain degree, but don't tell me that tripling the number of highways won't dramatically improve the situation. It will. You could also go to the opposite extreme, and consider my other inspired idea to turn liberal cities into protected wildernesses.

But since my suggestions will be ignored and nothing will be done, I salute liberals who continue to let themselves be fondled as part of their civic duty, while encouraging conservatives to move to places where cars are still king.