Saturday’s funniest headline was from the New York Times: “Investigate Tara Reade’s Allegations: Americans deserve to know more about a sexual assault accusation against the likely Democratic Party nominee.” Just 20 days ago, the Times was imitating the police officer hurrying people past the white chalk outline of a body on the pavement, while saying, “Move along, folks. There’s nothing to see here.”

Now, though, the Times is concerned about really getting to the bottom of things. Or it wants to ensure that the DNC controls an investigation's timing. If the FBI investigates, it could make things awkward by turning its results into an October surprise.

What was even funnier than the headline was the DNC’s unexpected refusal to look into Tara Reade’s allegation that Biden sexually assaulted her. Instead, a Fox News story shows the usual Democrat phalanx protecting Biden from an accusation consistent with both his sordid reputation and the sordid company he kept:

The Democratic National Committee (DNC) also responded Saturday to a New York Times call for a probe into the allegation, telling Fox News it was an “absurd suggestion on its face.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had this week sent a clear signal that she was “satisfied” with Biden's response on the matter. Biden had not publicly addressed the claims -- although his campaign had denied them -- until Friday morning. After he denied the claims in a statement and in an MSNBC interview, Pelosi repeated her stance.

“I have said… I am proud to have endorsed Vice President Biden,” she said on a press call Friday. “I thought that he dealt with it, a complete denial, support for women.”

Pelosi’s take is peculiar because, during the interview, Biden seemed unable to remember who Reade was, walked back the unequivocal support he had for women when Blasey Ford made her risible claims against Kavanaugh, lied about documents in the National Archives, and refused to release his own records lest voters see what he stands for. Moreover, Mika's questions ignored the people who remember back to the 1990s when Reade was talking about the assault.

It wasn’t just Pelosi who expressed satisfaction, though. So did leftist "women’s groups":

After the interview, several top women's groups telegraphed their satisfaction with his response.

“We have reached a pivotal moment in our nation when candidates for president are accused of sexual assault,” Tina Tchen, president and CEO of TIME’S UP Now and an ex-aide to former President Barack Obama, said in a statement. “Today, Vice President Joe Biden sat down and directly addressed the allegation against him with the seriousness it deserves, something that the current president has never done.”

Alexis McGill Johnson, acting president of Planned Parenthood Action Fund, said in a statement Friday that the group is “glad to see Vice President Biden take a needed first step in addressing this issue head-on. We now look to Biden to continue to push this conversation, and our country, forward.”

One wonders how all these Dems will react to the fact that the AP, in a random act of journalism, just reported that it uncovered two more witnesses who recall hearing from Reade in the 1990s about the assault. At this point, it doesn’t even matter what precisely happened. It’s enough to know that something happened.

The Democrats are being poked hard in their collective butt by that famous horned dilemma: Do they defend Biden and hope this all goes away, or do they use Reade’s accusation to push out a candidate who’s long past his sell-by date?

As for Biden, he’s still gamely plugging away, even if it means revealing body language that strongly implies that his impromptu interviews are scripted, with the questions provided beforehand and the answers scrolling by on a Teleprompter in his Delaware basement:

WATCH: Joe Biden appears to read prepared answers to questions in MSNBC interview. pic.twitter.com/tbUO1SOjiw

— Trump War Room - Text TRUMP to 88022 (@TrumpWarRoom) May 2, 2020

President Trump, in the ultimate act of trolling, sided with Biden, telling him he should fight back:

“I would just say to Joe Biden, ‘Just go out and fight it,'” Trump said in a podcast interview with Dan Bongino. “He’s going to have to make his own decision, I’m not going to be telling him what to do. Biden is going to have to go out and fight his own battles.”

Then Trump identified himself with Biden. “I’ve been falsely accused by people that I’ve never even seen, I’ve never even seen many of these people. And some of these people, I met them – zero interest, Okay? Like zero,” the president said.

“And all of a sudden you become a wealthy guy, you’re a famous guy, then you become president, and people just – people that you’ve never seen, that you’ve never heard of make charges. So I guess in a way you could say I’m, I’m sticking up for him,” Trump said of Biden.

Scott Adams characterizes Trump’s take on the matter as the most brilliant political trolling ever.

The Trump team, following Trump’s lead, isn’t attacking the assault claim directly. Instead, it’s focusing on his and the other Democrats’ hypocrisy, along with a stealthy reference to Biden’s known sick habit of fondling little girls: