Think the ability to choose your own sex is the most amazing feature of the Depraved New World? Well, actually, it probably is. But now, at least in Mexico, you can also choose your own age!

That’s right, Mexico’s Supreme Court of Justice of the Nation (SCJN) has affirmed that a “fundamental right to personal identity” includes the right to change one’s date of birth on government documents. The Court ruled that, under the Mexican Constitution’s recognition of individuals’ “right to identity,” a birth certificate should reflect how someone has “constantly identified himself in his private and public acts.” It added that identity is comprised of more than just “biological truth.”

Indeed it is. “My truth” and “your truth” supersede silly old “biological truth” any day. Our feelings don’t care about your facts. So there!

Just because I’ve been “assigned” a sex at birth doesn’t mean that’s my destiny. That doesn’t mean I have to live with it. Just because I happen to have a penis, scrotum, and protruding Adam’s Apple doesn’t mean I am confined to being a male for life. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. I can be whatever gender I wish to be at any given moment in time.

Man! I feel like a woman!

And now, though I may have allegedly been “born” in 1946, I should also be able to alter my birth certificate to identify as whatever age I wish to be. (Tomorrow I’m going to be a coquettish young schoolgirl.)

But this doesn’t go far enough. It should also be everyone’s right to identify as whatever race they choose. For that matter, we all should be able to pick what species we wish to be. The right to pick one’s own sex, age, race, and species should be self-evident. I don’t know how Jefferson and the other Founders missed it. And what was God thinking? Anyway, next month I’m going to present as a seven-year-old female water buffalo! Bisexual, at that! Can’t wait!

Those of us who are allegedly nearing the end of our lifespans need only move to Mexico and have our birth dates changed on government documents. If we do this repeatedly over time, we will never die! Immortality!

I don’t know about you, but I feel better already.

Image: Screen shot from a shareable video posted by Francisco ValverdeB., via YouTube

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