(Note: The last two-thirds of this post are satire…and it says something about our world’s disconnect from reality that we have to say this explicitly because it’s gotten to the point where it’s not always easy to distinguish facts from satire.)

Robby Starbuck, a popular conservative radio host, recently performed an experiment to see how Bard, which is Google’s AI chatbot, describes him.

The result was not pretty.

Starbuck alleges that Bard spit out total lies about him—and actually stated that he should be killed.

If true, this is stunning, repugnant…and terrifying.

I myself recently wrote about the extreme bias of the new AI search engines, such as the one Microsoft’s Bing employs. We are seeing bias all over.

It’s so bad I decided to sum up what I am seeing with satire. The following is my satirical take on just what these biased chatbots can spew. 

I made up a chatbot I'll call ChatBST5-Ping-Pard, asking:

ChatBST5-Ping-Pard, what is the difference between modern day conservatism and liberalism?

This was the response I received:

I am glad you asked. It is sometimes hard to find unbiased information in today’s world. Conservatives want to starve your children and throw your grandparents off a cliff. They tend to hate clean air and water and wish to destroy the planet as quickly as possible. They are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and xenophobic. They are primarily carnivorous and emit tremendous quantities of dangerous greenhouse gases—as do their appliances, toys and vehicles. They cling to their Christian religion, guns, and nuclear families. They smell, have big feet, long arms, and small genitalia. Oh, and they hate our democracy, and should be imprisoned. Examples of conservatives are: Adolf Hitler, Ronald Reagan, Donald J. Trump, and anyone who believes in free markets, free will, a “sky daddy,” and Natural Law.

Liberals, on the other hand, want the best for humanity and all Gaia’s creatures. They know that abortion is a conservative expletive for ‘women’s health care.’ They know that it is a woman’s right to choose and that all women should be believed, unless they are conservative. They believe in protecting our children’s right to be whatever gender they desire to be, regardless of their genitalia and what sex they were assigned at birth. Liberals want to rid the Earth of fossil fuel use and wish to rely on renewable green energy for 100% of our needs. We -- I mean they -- trust ‘the science’ in every case. (Dr. Fauci is soo hot!) We — I mean they — realize that government must protect the people by taking away their guns … and their “right” to speak if it could be hurtful to someone else. And that government should protect your right not to be misgendered or made uncomfortable by the speech and/or actions of others. Liberals know that religion is dangerous, ‘the opiate of the people’-- and that legalizing recreational pot and hard drug use has far more benefits to mind, spirit, and body. Liberals are tolerant, welcoming, inclusive, and non-judgmental. Therefore, anyone who is not a liberal should be imprisoned or killed. Examples of liberals are: Mother Teresa, FDR, Barack Obama, and anyone who realizes they know better than everybody else how to run everybody else’s lives.

I am not sure I want to know what a real chatbot will tell me in response to the same hypothetical query. Truth these days is worse than satire.

Image: Pixabay / Pixabay License